I am in the mood to be particularly vile today. I want to tear something or someone to pieces. I got out of bed after attending a great concert yesterday and the only thing that I can really think of doing is ripping someone to shreds. I mean this figuratively of course. I have chosen my weapon this morning as well for this deserved ripping: the written word, which as we shall soon see is the appropriate tool. I have chosen my target: Bristol Palin. Let the ripping commence!
She’s got a book deal and it’s for a memoir. Pardon my limited understanding of the literary world and the American system as a whole, but I have somehow been under the false impression my whole life that someone writes a memoir after they have accomplished something memorable in their life that probably effected others as well. Usually a memoir would include some great event. Think Mandela, Gandhi, or even someone as horrible as Silvio Berlusconi (but he does have stuff to write about). Bristol Palin though, what does she have? Well to be fair and balanced like her dear mother’s devoted channel, she was on Dancing with the Stars (or something like that) wasn’t she? Besides that she got knocked up, in what may or may not be the most famous out of wedlock pregnancy since the virgin birth (in America dear readers only in America), by a head case redneck named Levi Johnson.
Add to this that she is Sarah Palin´s daughter and suddenly we have a book taking shape. Wait, I still haven’t seen anything here that is really memorable at all! Maybe someone should tell her that this is what a diary is for: people’s lives that aren’t good enough to be memoirs. We live in a capitalist society and it’s the markets that decide whether or not a book like this comes to fruition (or comes to term). That means that someone at a conservative book company decided that this was really good enough to sell. I don’t know what this proves more than that the worst and most tasteless garbage sells pretty well apparently. Are they even going to pretend that Bristol is going to do the writing? Will Bristol even read the book? I would like to go on and mention that this girl is obviously a nitwit for allowing someone to do this for to her, but then when you think about it this might be how the Palins are planning to pay for her college, since they don’t make enough between Sarah’s Fox News skits and all those speaking fees. Desperate times call for desperate measures and so as the rest of America suffers in the midst of economic stagnation, they will have to do so with more information about the Palins on the front shelf at Borders.
Was Bristol famous before she got knocked up or was it during her first trimester? That anyone cares so much is a shame, and if any other politician’s kids have ever written books like this then shame on them as well. America is a place where nonsense is being sold for profit. Where can I cash in?
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