A pack of wild horses

I am sitting here in Berlin, a city drenched in rain and listening to the cars drive by on the wet pavement. I am trying to think clearly. That seems to be difficult this morning. One reason could be that I haven´t had my morning coffee. I checked the container we keep the coffee beans in and it wasn´t enough to make a full cup. I am also not in a mood to run to the store. So it goes.

I read this article in the New York Times. Its shocking and eye-opening while at the same time only really yawn provoking. Its about all the lies that Americans believe about Obama and the Democrats at the moment. There are some things there that I can only hope we will be laughing about in ten to fifteen years. There is this feeling in my gut though that we may not be in the end. That when these lies keep popping up in the future we´ll have to grown and wonder what kind of mindless idiots we are dealing with. In this day and age, and with the access that americans have to the internet and news sources, the fact that so many of them are capable of believing these kind of lies says a lot about the nation as a whole. For me its once again a reminder of why I am where I am.

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The children running the orphanage or the Ground Zero Mosque manufactured controversy

There is a mosque being built in a location near the area in New York known as Ground Zero. That is the spot where the twin towers used to be. Remember those buildings that had two planes flown into them and then collapsed once the heat proved to much for the steel girders. A tragedy and an attack all at the same time. Now there is some controversy about one of the buildings in the area. Sometimes I wonder how America became as strong as it did. I wonder how it got so many things done when the politicians are arguing about this kind of garbage.

Arguments I have heard against it: Islam(or muslims) were the ones who attacked America. Actually this is a crock of you-know-what, it was Al Qaeda that attacked, not a religion. Religions are not tangible objects that can attack buildings. Its insensitive is another argument. Muslims died there as well so this makes it even stupider. Plus its private property and the owner is not a radical but a very big moderate. Not allowing it would be an act of bigotry and intolerance. Another argument: more than 50% of americans don´t want it. Majority is always right? guess we´d have no interracial marriage then either, or still segregated schools, and the list goes on. To be honest I haven´t heard a good argument yet. What a bunch of loonies running that country. Further proof that for all the talk, most of the time you only tolerate things that are similiar to yourself.

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In search of the Aha moment

It could be called a quest. Or some sort of journey. Or maybe, when over-analyzed, a goal driven search for a meaningful occupation. Translation: I am looking for a job. I spend my days, in between working two restaurant jobs and trying to occasionally skateboard (not happening today) looking for work. I am not just interested in a job for its own sake, though at this point a more solid income that doesn´t rely on the weather wouldn´t hurt anyone. I want a job that when I wake up in the morning I don´t lie there in bed thinking; shit I have to get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and go to a workplace somewhere far off where I do something I don´t even enjoy. Millions around the world face this dilemma. I have faced it before (though arguably the pay wasn´t as good back then).

What is all this about then? I am looking for the Aha moment: that point in time when I am looking through job adds and I see a position that really gets me going. A job offering that has my name written all over it. A job whose central work area is something I will take to like a hobby as opposed to a career. Does it exist? Well not so far, or someone else has it and isn´t willing to let it go. As Kurt Vonnegut would say: "So it goes."

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Saturday Clouds

Its been raining bad weather since sometime yesterday morning. You wake up slowly, stumble around the house trying to figure out what all you have to do. Get dressed, go to the market, and then go to work for a few hours. The rain starts pouring and your shift gets cut short. No big deal really, a bit more free time is always appreciated. Though the money would have been nice as well. Every month is a massive effort that seems to end with just the right amount of money on the positive balance. A term one could use is making ends meet, or scraping by. Anyway you want to look at it, it comes down to survival. I don´t look at it that way though. I pretend I am in some form of bohemian lifestyle.

After the month and a half football withdrawal following the end of the world cup, two of europes leagues are back in business today: the French and the Dutch. Not that I will watch any of those games though as that would entail piss poor streams on some server that is going to crash at any minute. Too bad, but Bundesliga is just around the corner. There is also a national team friendly next week. Sweden meets Scotland. Zlatan is back. Its going to be fun.

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Have some Tea, America!

When I read any article on any news site about the current tea party phenomenon I remember exactly why I left the United States. I left the loon bin to the loonies. Don´t misunderstand me here, Europe is full of loonies. Its crawling with them. The difference is that they don´t have the same loud screaming presence that they have in the US. They don´t have someone like Limbaugh or Beck poisoning the airwaves with their constant spewing of hate and rage (as they make millions from it).

The Tea party claims to be real americans. Sarah Palin claims to be the real america. If that is the real america: this conservative, pseudo Randian America, then I want no part. Period. I want out. If the republicans storm back in to office and fall all over each other trying to help the rich people out and at the same time trying to encourage only the kind of lifestyles that Dr. Dobson prescribes, then I want out. I am sick of a nation that talks about its tolerance and then does the opposite. I am sick of a nation that talks about peace when holding a gun to someone else´s head. Sick to death.

The republicans are looking good the polls say. Says a lot about America doesn´t it!

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All good things....

Spain won the 2010 world cup. That was completely deserved. A country that has for the last fifty years (and probably more) produced so many spectacular football players has finally won its first world cup. They also look like they might continue to be unstoppable, though as history has often shown, time does things to winning teams that fans would like to forget. For what its worth though, Spain deserved that World Cup.

In about a month or month and a half, most of the leagues in Europe will be in full swing again and the qualifiers for the next European Cup will be underway. The Swedish national team missed the World Cup and has now added a new coach and started to bring in a younger generation of players. This bodes well for our chances of reaching Poland/Ukraine 2012. We have to face Hungary, Holland, Finland, Moldova, and San Marino. We will probably lose to Holland who have one of the best teams in the world at the moment. Otherwise our chances look solid to go through as the second place team in the group. Oh, and to boost things just a bit in advance Zlatan is back. This is good news for the national team which was missing a key player for the new system which will be 4-2-3-1 like most other international teams. Personally I am looking forward to the qualifiers and the up coming friendlies. Its going to be a good time all around.

As for me I have worked every day this week and it will be nice to have a weekend skating with my Stockholm crew who is on visit for eight days starting on Saturday. Lots of skateboarding to be done!

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Props to Spain

How to begin this? Spain deserved to win that game. Germany fell to far back in hopes that it would be able to stop the play and counter, however in doing so, they let the Spanish run wild with the ball. You never let the spanish run wild with the ball. Until a team learns to do that, they will continue to feel the pain of La Furia Roja. Spain will probably also win the world cup because besides beating Brazil (and lets be honest they weren´t that great) Holland haven´t done all that much to prove they are real contenders. Then again thats the way it goes at world cups sometimes: luck of the draw can lead to match-ups that allow teams to reach the final easier than others.

All the same I have had a fantastic world cup. I have watched every germany game with friends and most of them in public viewing. Its been a blast and to be honest this is the way a world cup should be enjoyed. The vibes on the streets here in Berlin has been fantastic. The German team can now focus on the third place game (which they should win). They should also remember that they have been the most consistent team in the world for almost a decade now. A silver in 2002, a bronze in 2006, and now a chance for another bronze in 2010. Not a thing there to be ashamed of. Next time its going to be a far more experienced team (dare I recall that Spain were quite young in 2006 and came back in 2010 a better side...). Anyway Germany thank you for a wonderful world cup and please finish it with class by beating the snot out of Uruguay and please get that record for Klose he deserves it!

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Die Mannschaft keeps the world cup alive

I remember 2008, I had just returned to Berlin after a holiday and had arrived in time to find a tv set for the european cup final. It was Spain vs Germany. To be honest I didn´t favor germany´s chances: despite getting that far they had done so in a way that was much less impressive than Spain´s own journey. Sure enough the Spaniards controlled the game and there was this feeling all through the game that there was really no chance that there would be an equalizer at any time. There wasn´t any question either of it being a fair outcome: Spain played the pants off the Germans.

Fast-forward to 2010. A world cup in South Africa. A lot of talk about how much Spain was a favorite to win the world cup and despite the all-star roster they have, a lot of unimpressive games. They lost to switzerland to start things off and haven´t been a high scoring team. One of their strikers has been god awful and the team just isn´t clicking in the same way it was in 2008. Now look at Germany, and at this point I still want to point out that I am a skeptic of Germany actually winning. So much can happen in those ninety minutes of play. Germany has impressed. They dismantled England and Argentina, and have been growing as a team as the tournament has progressed. 2002 they made the final only to lose in the last minute. 2006 they took third place. Now its 2010 and they have their best team in a long time. Germany has a good chance to take it all. I am close to believing in that fourth star on their jerseys after this tournament.

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Dog Days

Welcome to the once weekly update of this lovely blog. I spent a portion of this morning, which is going to end seven minutes from now, listening to various songs by Josh Ritter and David Gray. Both of them amazing musicians, oh to see them live. I am still somewhere in the middle of the Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller. To best describe it, one would use the words pure madness, but then again I don´t see enough madness around me at the moment to not need some of that craziness. The sun is beating down on the street outside my third story window and life is stirring in ways typical of a Berlin Friday.

I have the day off and am contemplating a swim trip to a lake or watching the two quarterfinal games of the 2010 world cup. Not sure which is actually going to happen at this point. Recently I have been suffering from bouts of procrastination and that has affected the output of this blog as well. My apologies to all the readers, its the dog days of summer.

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Fridays

I am in the first fifty pages of Henry Miller´s Tropic of Capricorn and I can only say that I feel inspired, the tone, the sarcasm, the voice: its all perfect. The man knew how to write. As for me? I am stuck on this blog pretending that one day I will write a novel. I can say a thousand times over that I am just trying to find the story, or looking for the right voice for the narration. Its all a crock of shit, and its been cooking for quite sometime now. To look at the whole thing from a spanish perspective: you can´t have a bull fight until you get inside the ring. The ring is this computer, the bull is my inner-laziness, and my matador´s outfit is the keys. Until there is a confrontation, its going to be a lonely day at the ring.

On to the world cup in all its glory. Germany made it through! What a nervy game that was. Lots of indecisivness from both sides and only a single moment of individual brilliance to finish it off. My thoughts always go back to Mr. Linnekers quote about the germans always winning on penalties, well hopefully they can do better than that against England. Sunday will tell all.

I am off to shopping and other such fun and exciting things such as working on a Friday night. May your weekends be merry!

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Wednesdays are for Show downs...

Germany looked brilliant in their first game. They looked good in their second one and still lost. So it comes down to Wednesday. It comes down to Ghana. It comes down to ninety minutes and eleven men against another set of eleven. It comes down, to some degree, on the referee quality. It comes down to nerves and will and all that jazz. I am so nervous I can´t think about much else. Football has that effect sometimes.

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World Cup 2010

By now every newspaper has been running their stories and special takes on the 2010 World Cup so I won´t drone on about it too much. I´ll admit that I have Football Fever. Due to work schedules and odd hours here and there, the first game I will be able to watch will be Germany against Australia. Its going to be magnificent, its going to be wonderful, in a way that only a world cup can be. I don´t think Brazil is going to do it this time, Spain is looking hot, Holland is on the rise, Denmark will be a bottom dweller along with France and Portugal. The drama is here and now and that month of magic that comes once every four years is here. I only wish I could watch every game.

In the middle of May

Sorry about not updating this blog for a long time. I can´t really say that I have been so busy that it would have been impossible to write a line or two, more like I just didn´t take that time necessary. This is of course a confession for being lazy. So what is going on? I am working at a pizzeria and once or twice a week at an ice cream cafe, then besides this I do the occasional work at a catering company. To be honest I haven´t been doing enough reading recently. At night when I climb into bed around 11 or so I just turn out the light and pass out. I have been skating a lot recently as well. It was something that was missing in my life and now I have been doing it enough to reach a level I haven´t been at for about three years. To be honest though I am not back to the level I was at in the fall/winter of 2006. It is getting close though.

To football: the world cup is beginning soon. Sweden won´t be there so I will be for the Germans. There isn´t much to say about the German team (always pretty solid) so I thought I would write a note or two about what I hope the Swedes do. First they have a new coach in Erik Hamren and while new coaches don´t always solve all the problems, they can be a breath of fresh air and a step in the right direction. So what is Sweden´s biggest problem then? The lack of a strong team sense and the ability of key players stepping up when called upon. We are also in some kind of generation shift at the moment, but the new kids just aren´t quite there yet. We need someone to step up and take the reigns (or as we say in swedish: visa vart skåpet ska stå). I am waiting for Wernbloom and Bajrami and one or two others to show some heart and determination. Our big stars are also a problem: Ibrahimovic had an alright season at Barcelona, but is now in the middle of a sea of rumours none of which can be completely dismissed, and Marcus Berg has got to step up his game pretty mightily from the garbage he has shown so far at Hamburg. We expect more from such players. Of course Sweden has come back from dark patches before so there is no reason to think they cannot do the same now as well.

The IIHF Championships are taking place right now and Sweden is going to meet Denmark in the quarterfinal on Thursday. If we don´t win it will be one of the biggest embarrasments in our Ice Hockey history. I will admit though that I had all but written this team off after those shaky performances against Norway and France, but the last three games have pulled us together and our young players have shown a lot of heart. Pääjärvi-Svensson, Ekman-Larsson, and Hedman have been standouts and will be big stars in the years to come. I think there is a chance we win the gold but if we take a bronze only, I can live with that: as long as they leave it all on the ice.

To books. I am reading the Poisonwood Bible, Herr Lehmann, and finishing off Moby Dick all at the same time. I recently finished my first novel from Stanislaus Lem, Solaris, which I have to say was fantastic and I recommend it for anyone looking for a good book to read.

That is that and I hope that the summer finally shows up here one of these days as all this gray weather is killing the mood. Though at the same time, even with the gray skies I have been skating pretty damn good.

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Readings and things

So while this is the third time I am reading Moby Dick, it is still a hard book to get through. For that reason I am also reading other books at the same time. Right now I am reading Stanislaw Lem´s Solaris (afterwards I am going to track down the famous Soviet movie and I will review that here as well). So far I have to admit I am pretty impressed with Solaris. Its one of those books that you approach with a skeptics view-given the large amount of amazing reviews it gets, but that I am finding have good reason to them. I don´t want to give away plot lines but am just going to say that I really recommend it and I am not even half way through.

I am going to Cologne this weekend and will be there until wednesday. Hopefully though I can update with some photos and stuff. I will watch some football this weekend and try to do some skating in Cologne. Of course we are really there to visit family so that is going to be fun as well. If the weather holds up like this tomorrow then I am going skating again. Landed some really good stuff the other day, stuff I hadn´t done in years.

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Obama as the white whale, but who is Ahab?

I am reading Moby Dick for the third time right now. Since the value of a novel is often found in its interpretations, I am going to apply a modern one to a classic. Of course Melville could never have foreseen the tea party and the anger of people when their illusions of America were revealed to be 1950´s fantasies, all the same Moby Dick fits the current discourse really well.

I begin then with Obama as the white whale. This isn´t too hard. He is different from all the other previous whales that the whalers have hunted. Rumours surround his presence in different parts of the world. He is thought to be a destroyer by some. However, since he has appeared he has been gaining a name and a reputation. When he reached his peak, the election or in the book the first fight with Ahab, he changed everything. That brings us to Ahab. He is none other than Dick Cheney. A man with a limited vision of reality who is so possessed with his need for revenge for what he considers a purposeful attack on himself. This attack on Ahab I translate as the American people voting the neo-cons out. Cheney cannot let go of the whole thing and so he is able to bring others to the same fanatical point of rage (the tea party or nowadays most of the republican party). He tells them they have to get the White Whale. The ship always has been and always will be America. Cheney, as Ahab, is willing to take the ship (America) down with all hands rather than see it not doing his will.

Ok so this is all just for fun. But what drives a maniac like Cheney or Ahab? Their wounded pride?
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A well worn path

Monday strikes again. I had to work so I didn´t have to sit around all day thinking about how I don´t have a job. Actually I do have a job, but I mean more like a real job. Whatever that is. I have never had one actually. A real job would consist of me doing something that is related to geography and the environment. Preferrably some kind of research. Of course in the world of jobs its all about who you know and as an immigrant, I don´t know anyone.

Lets put all that aside for a minute. Instead I think about the tea party in the US and Bill Maher´s condemnation of the whole movement. He makes the point that they really can´t talk about deficit reduction until they are willing to give up what is essentially the American Empire. If we can´t decide what to cut, but never tackle a standing army that is indeed to big when considered alongside what it is used, then we aren´t really proposing any real solutions. He noted, and I thought this part was quite good, that the defense industry is really a set of welfare payments. So then the question is what percentage of the military industrial complex (and I mean the whole shebang here) is republican and/or right wing? Maher also noted that the whole thing is geared to fight Russia back in the 70´s. Despite these words of wisdom I doubt the teabaggers will actually ever call for any reductions in this sector. Then what about NASA? Is getting a base on the moon or planting a flag on Mars really that important? Nope. If we want to reduce the budget, lets use the money where its needed and not on male sci-fi fantasies.

Here is hoping the weather is nice tomorrow because I can hear my skateboard on the other side of the room calling my name. No its not really calling my name. Inanimate objects don´t do such things, but all the same I have an itch to take it for a ride.

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Friday: or how to go through the motions

Lets begin with facts. The sun is shinning. The trees are in bloom. Its nearing the end of april and the summer is starting to break through here and there. In the parks the smell of grilled meat and charcoal smoke floats by occasionally amid the screams of running children on green grass and the silent areas where couples wrap themselves in blankets. The streets are unusually quiet for a Friday and its as if there is some holiday feeling over the whole city. We have left the facts behind. I am sad and don´t know why. The job hunt is getting to me. I know I should call the companies and places I have applied to but don´t want to. The fear of rejection? The sinking feeling of inadequacy sinking in to all my pores? Something like that.

Amid other things that are let downs these days: the Swedish National football team. Its hard to argue that anyone really deserves a place on that team these days. Everytime we play a nation that could be considered blueberry in quality we get a run for the money. Right now I am not at all convinced that we will be taking part in Euro 2012. A lot of people have to step up and reach another dimension of playing. I don´t see that happening. To continue the football line: Barcelona are two goals down in the semifinal of the Champions League. I am going to write them off now. Inter Milan with a genius in Mourinho is going to get to the final and there they are going to play an über-close game with Bayern that will be a toss up. It might even go to penalties. That is my prediction anyway. Enjoy the weekend.

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Skateboarding!

Its official. The sun is out and I don´t have to serve ice cream or bake pizzas today, so that can mean only two things. First I am working on further job applications (which even when I am doing nothing else, I am still working on) and secondly I am going to go skate at Hasenheide where I haven´t been in a week and a half. Just looking out the window at the bloomind trees, I know that that itch is slowly coming back.

In other news I finished Margaret Atwood´s sequel to Oryx and Crake titled The Year of the Flood. While its always extremely difficult to write a sequel to such an amazing book, I thought that she did pretty well in the end. Some of the story arcs seemed a bit simplified, but all in all it held a high standard and the ending was acceptable. Recommended though to get it you have to read the first one first.

Today is Market Day on the Maybachufer and I am wondering if I need anything at all today? The answer is probably no, now to the question of do I want anything. Well the answer to that doesn´t need to be stated literally. To everyone out there reading this: Enjoy a beautiful spring day.

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Delusions of Grandeur, mass fantasy, and the right wing

Its all the same thing. Yesterday Sarah went to Boston to give a little Tea Party speech near the site of the original event. Personally I am wondering whether she shook the dust off her feet when she left that liberal Mecca or whether it is now a sacred site of the right thanks to the election of Scott Brown (from whom much will expected....). In any case I took another thinker about the people and ideas that make up this right wing hate fest and thought I would talk about them a bit today.

Lets start with the socialism/fascism claims. I am constantly wondering where they get their evidence for this? To this day I still haven´t heard a decent argument for this, but that hasn´t stopped it being shouted from every pulpit they can find (and radio station, and fox news, etc.). I am therefore forced to conclude that these people are living in a giant bubble of fantasy. What they imagine in their head they conclude is also actually going on in the streets. This is the same affliction that many terminally ill homeless people suffer from.

Then there are the ideas about the constitution and lets go back to the constitution and it was better back then. To be honest they are practicioners of the Great American Religion. The first principle of the religion is that America is so special that it is unlike any other nation. When your worldview starts like this it invariably leads to the conclusion that all other nations are incomplete, bad, or even evil. The second principle of the religion is that the US can do nothing wrong on the world stage. The third principle is that American will only be great as long as its tied to some Randian view of capitalism and individuality. Going back to the constitution then is some kind of purification rite of the Great American Cult (cough, religion). The problem (one of many) with this view of America is that first it idealizes a kind of country that would look like The Andy Griffith Show and ignores the complicated real life that a constantly changing and dynamic nation faces. It also ignores history but that is for another post.

What I am trying to illustrate here is that the Tea Party, Fox News, and Sarah Palin are all living in a cocoon they built for themselves with a worldview that never really existed the way they wish it had. Tough shit, you lost the election, and this is the real life (its not black and white).

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Yoga Wednesdays

On wednesdays I do yoga. Its something I started with a little over a year ago. I had wanted to do it before but never had the courage to do it on my own. Enter Clara who wanted to do it as well and when we signed up for a course at the local community college (German VHS) we didn´t really know much about it. After a few weeks we were hooked. Now in the mornings I usually start my day by doing a few exercises. We do Iyengar yoga and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to be more flexible, add another dimension to their physical training, as well as learn something new.

Tomorrow is Thursday and if the weather finally gets a bit nicer, I am going to have a nice skate session. First though I have to hand deliver a job application I have been working on for a while now.

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